February 23, 2009

How is Your Marriage?

Melissa Taylor

"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you." Matthew 7:7 (NASB)

Devotion:

A while ago, I wrote a devotion where I revealed portions of my past that continue to affect my marriage today. I followed that up with another one recounting the struggle I've had being intimate with my husband. I received hundreds of letters from women of all ages who could relate to what I had written. Because I also reported that my marriage was now thriving, I received a lot of questions and concerns:

"How did your marriage go from just surviving to thriving?"

"What if your husband won't go to counseling?"

"I don't love my husband anymore; what do I do?"

"My husband doesn't make me feel good; he doesn't even notice me."

"I'm exhausted from trying to be happy."

"All my husband wants is sex; I'm just too tired."

"What if your husband is not a Christian?"

"That's great for you, but what about me?"

I wish I was equipped to answer these questions. Wouldn't it be nice if we could go to Someone who could answer all of our questions for us? We can.

One thing that helped me was prayer. I know that sounds simple. I also know it's not. It can be difficult to pray and be satisfied with God's response. We need to be committed to receiving what God offers, not just asking for what we want.

For years, I spent my time praying for God to change Jeff, my husband. I blamed Jeff for me not feeling good about myself and my life. I thought:

If he would only pay more attention to me ... then I'd be happy.

If he would just be more romantic ... then I'd be fulfilled.

I wish he understood me.

He loves his work more than me.

I wish he would read the Bible more, or pray with me.

I bought the book, Power of a Praying Wife, certain if I began praying diligently for my husband everything would be fixed. I opened the book, ready to change my husband through prayer. Imagine my surprise when the first thing the author suggested was that I pray for myself! My intentions in reading this book was to change Jeff through my prayers, not to change me. That really opened my eyes. Maybe God didn't want to change my husband; maybe He wanted to change me!

This shifted my focus on what God could do in and through me. Instead of trying to figure out how His Word applied to everyone else (especially Jeff), I focused on how it applied to me. What a difference that made!

As I prayed for myself, I also began praying for Jeff. This time I stayed out of God's way and let Him work in both our hearts. There was not quick, but steady improvement. Looking back to when I first made the decision to focus more on my role in our marriage and less on Jeff's, and compare it to today, it is like night and day.

I am a wife, but even before that I am a child of God. I pray my marriage lasts forever, but I have no guarantee of that. I do have the guarantee that my relationship with Jesus will. That's the relationship I must work on first. Amazingly, when that one is right, the rest falls into place for me. It doesn't mean that all is well, but it means I am well.

The next time you find yourself yearning for more from your marriage and husband, think about this. Instead of asking, "How is my marriage doing?" or "How is my relationship with my husband?" Ask "How am I doing?" or "How is my relationship with Jesus?"

Dear Lord, help me to turn over all of the desires in my heart to You. Work on my relationships, beginning with me. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:

Do You Know Him?

Praying Through the Deeper Issues of Marriage: Protecting Your Relationship So It Will Last a Lifetime by Stormie Omartian

Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas

Visit Melissa's blog 

Application Steps: 

Commit to having a daily quiet time with God each day this week.

Reflections: 

How can I make a difference in my relationships?

Could it be me who needs to change?

Power Verses:

Galatians 6:9, "So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up." (NLT)

Mark 11:24-25, "I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you've received it, it will be yours. But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too." (NLT)

© 2009 by Melissa Taylor. All rights reserved.

Proverbs 31 Ministries

616-G, Matthews-Mint Hill Road

Matthews, NC 28105

www.proverbs31.org

February 23, 2009

Waiting For The Harvest

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READ: Mark 4:26-29

First the blade, then the head, after that the full grain . . . . The harvest has come. —Mark 4:28-29

In the book What’s Gone Wrong With the Harvest? James Engel and Wilbert Norton illustrate on a graph how people often go through a series of preconversion stages before stepping over the line of faith and receiving Jesus as their Savior.

When we hear individuals share their conversion experience, we may conclude that faith happened all at once. But their salvation frequently carries an extended back-story of spiritual pilgrimage before they made that decision. They needed time to reflect on the gospel. For them, coming to the Savior was a process.

This is similar to the process of farming: Months of waiting come to an end and workers stream into the fields to help with the harvest. One of our Lord’s parables illustrates how faith—like a crop—needs time to develop. Responding to the gospel is like a seed that grows “first the blade, then the head, after that the full grain,” until finally, “the harvest has come” (Mark 4:28-29).

Because people may need time and multiple exposures to the gospel before they are ready to make a decision, we need to be sensitive to where they are in their faith-journey. In the meantime, we can cultivate spiritual interest, pray for them, and wait for the harvest! —Dennis Fisher

Have you thought of where you’re going
When this earthly life is past?
Will the seed that you are sowing
Bring a harvest that will last? —Jacobson

We sow the seed—God produces the harvest.

CHRISTIAN LIVING

Keep On Keeping On!

By Belinda Elliott
CBN.com Senior Producer

CBN.com – Fed by birds in the desert, used by God to raise someone from the dead, witnessed fire sent down from Heaven, and swept away to eternity by a chariot of fire, the Old Testament prophet Elijah had quite the adventure!

But even he had his down days.

Elijah had been doing great things for God. He had just recently participated in one of the biggest showdowns in history between the Lord and a pagan god. The people were amazed as Elijah called on the one true God and He answered in a magnificent way. (Check out the story in 1 Kings 18).

After that demonstration of power, it seemed like the people were convinced that the pagan god they had been serving was a fake. But this sentiment was to be short-lived.

After Elijah embarrassed her fake god, Israel’s queen Jezebel promised to get even. Elijah quickly went from a confident man proclaiming the Word of God to a coward on the run from a crazed woman who wanted to kill him.

Though he had seen God’s power at work, he felt alone. It seemed as if the rest of the nation had become wicked. They had abandoned their worship of God and pursued pagan gods instead.

Had he made any progress at all? How could he continue to work for God when it seemed no one was listening?

Have you ever felt that way? Perhaps you are serving in the ministry that God has called you to but you haven’t seen the results that you thought you would. Or maybe God has given you a clear directive, but every time you make any progress toward what He has told you to do you find another obstacle in the way.

Or perhaps you are the only Christian in your family or in your circle of friends. In a post-modern culture where it seems like “anything goes,” it can be difficult to keep God’s moral standards. When many around us live contrary to God’s Word, it is difficult to not be swayed by their influence. Sometimes being “in the world, but not of it” is harder than we care to admit.

If you have felt like this, you are in good company. Elijah also felt like he had been laboring in vain. He cried out to God, “Lord God All-Powerful, I have always served you as well as I could. But the people of Israel have broken their agreement with you, destroyed your altars, and killed your prophets with swords. I am the only prophet left, and now they are trying to kill me, too" (1 Kings 19:14).

He wasn’t just feeling pressured by the culture around him. Nor was this a case of simply not fitting in with his friends or family. His very life was at stake.

I recently re-read this story, and I noticed something that I had never seen before. After Elijah makes his complaint to God, the Lord immediately gives him a new assignment. It’s not that God ignores Elijah’s complaint, but it’s pretty obvious that God didn’t want the prophet to stop working.

The sentiment behind the Lord’s command to Elijah was basically, “Keep on keeping on.”

But He did add a word of encouragement. At the end of His instructions to Elijah, God makes one last observation: “I have seven thousand people left in Israel who have never bowed down before Baal and whose mouths have never kissed his idol" (1 Kings 19:18).

I find that verse to be quite hopeful. Although Elijah thought he was the only one continuing to serve God, it turns out there were numerous people still seeking the Lord. And what’s even more encouraging is that this faithful group didn’t escape the Lord’s attention. He saw them and knew of their faithfulness.

He sees our faithfulness too.

Every time we choose His way instead of our own, He takes note of it. Each time we sacrifice ourselves in some way for His kingdom, whether it is through our time, talents, or finances, He sees it. Whenever we are obedient to Him, He notices.

And His Word promises that our faithfulness will not go unrewarded. When we become discouraged by the wickedness around us, we must remember that the place we call home for now is not our final destination. Our reward will be in Heaven. One day we will see the fruits of our labors.

Galatians 6:9 instructs us, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

Even if we are the only ones among our peers, in our workplaces, or in our families who are serving the Lord, we must continue to stay strong in our faith. We never know how He may use the witness of our lives to draw someone to Him. In the meantime, we can rest assured that He sees every situation we encounter and He walks through each one with us.   

What can we do when we become discouraged in our service?

I believe we can take a lesson from Elijah. Pray. Remember God’s promises. And keep on keeping on!

Do you have a relationship with Jesus Christ? Meet Him today.

*Scriptures used in this article taken from the New Century Version.

Comments? Email me

More articles by Belinda on CBN.com

CHRISTIAN LIVING

Satisfy Your Craving

By Belinda Elliott
CBN.com Senior Producer

CBN.com – It was a bad case of the munchies. It was late afternoon and I was craving Cookies and Cream ice cream – the kind that contains big chunks of Oreos. My car was in the shop and I was working from home with no means of transportation, making this sweet treat impossible to obtain.

Deciding to choose a healthier, yet sweet, option I grabbed a bag of grapes from the refrigerator. I’d eaten three or four and was thinking, Okay, these aren’t so bad. Then I noticed the grape that I was holding had a spot of mold on it. Yuck! How long have these been in the fridge? I thought.

So I threw those out and scanned the shelves for another healthy option. Carrots -- those are sweet, right? Maybe this will cure my craving, I thought. After eating a couple, I had to put them back. Carrots will simply not do when Oreos are on the brain.

My next attempt was a bit of chocolate. Actually, a lot of chocolate. It took several different tries before I finally gave up. With Hershey Kiss and chocolate mint wrappers all around, I decided there was nothing in the house that would satisfy my hankering for the sweet taste of Oreos mixed with ice cream.

Have you ever had a craving for something, and it wouldn’t go away until you obtained the item desired? My insatiable desire for sweets that day reminded me of a different kind of craving I often feel. A soul craving.

At a recent chapel service, the speaker was discussing Hebrews 11, the “faith chapter”. He zeroed in on verse six, “Without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.” The speaker explained that some versions use the phrase “diligently seek Him,” and that one meaning usually translated for this verse is to “crave” God.

To crave is an intense feeling, as I found out in my search for the “perfect” sweet treat. And it doesn’t only happen with food. Some things that we crave are simple enough that we can go purchase them immediately, if we want to. A new purse, a new pair of shoes, or a new outfit are easy items to obtain, if we don’t mind shelling out our cash for them.

Sometimes we crave things that we have no way to provide ourselves. A job, a spouse, a baby, these are things that we long for as we wait for God to provide them. And sometimes, even after we get them, we find ourselves still feeling unfulfilled because they turn out to be less than the “perfect” way that we’d imagined them.

It’s usually a scenario like that which leads to my soul cravings. There are times when I find myself longing for more than life is offering. I love my job, my spouse, my friends, and my church. I lead a full and fulfilling life, yet something inside me becomes unsatisfied.

That’s when the Lord often whispers to me, You’re doing it again.

Doing what, Lord? I ask.

Filling My place with other things, He replies.

Ouch!

But it’s true. Sometimes I seek fulfillment in every other area of life before I realize what is missing. I let worldly concerns crowd out the most important thing, time spent with my Savior. Without that time alone with Him, I will always feel like there is something missing.

Lately, I’ve had the song “Draw Me Close to You,” stuck in my head. For days, the chorus has been nagging at me. It says, You’re all I want. You’re all I’ve ever needed. Lord, help me know you are near. 

Have I ever come to a place in my life where Jesus is truly all I want and all I need? If everything else were to be taken away from me today, would He be enough?

That’s a tough question to ponder, but I believe that’s what it means to really “crave” Jesus.

Do we crave God as much as we crave other things? Do we so long to spend time in His presence each day that nothing will keep us from meeting with Him? Fortunately, this is one craving that will never leave us hungering. Jesus is ready and waiting to nourish our souls every day.

Whether circumstances in our lives are the currently the best they’ve ever been or the worst they’ve ever been, the “abundant life” that Scripture promises will remain out of reach until we seek out the One who offers everything we need.

The next time you feel that pull of dissatisfaction, give into that craving! Grab your Bible and get alone with God. Ultimately, there is nothing else that will satisfy us.

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him.
- Psalm 62:5

Do you have a relationship with Jesus Christ? Meet Him today and find the peace, freedom, and fulfillment that your heart has been longing for.

Comments? Email me

More articles by Belinda on CBN.com

More Spiritual Life articles

February 20, 2009

The Whitening Process

Marybeth Whalen

"Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me and I will be whiter than snow."

Psalm 51:7 (NIV)

Devotion:

When my dental hygienist of a mom gave me a free whitening kit from her dentist's office, I was elated. The cost of the whitening treatment had been far too expensive for me in the past, so I had never pursued it. But free I could do! Unfortunately, I quickly discovered this whole teeth whitening thing wasn't the blissful experience I had anticipated. It was far more painful and complicated than I understood when I began. As I thought about this, I realized it was a parallel to the Christian life.

Whitening is painful. The chemicals they use in the bleaching process can cause pain. The nerves under the gum-line that are exposed to these chemicals can really hurt, making things you used to do without thinking--like eating, for example--impossible. I thought about how this applies to God's process of making us white as snow, as today's verse says. We want that process to be quick and easy. We don't want Him to make things we used to do to become painful or unpleasant. And yet, by exposing those nerves--the stuff we keep hidden under the surface--we are forced to change things about ourselves. We don't want the pain, and yet sometimes pain is the only thing that will cause the change God wants to bring about in us.

Whitening takes a long time. I was asking my mom why they don't just make a product that works in one application. Why does this process have to be so drawn out? "Because," she answered, "The chemicals are so harsh you couldn't take it all in one application, so they break it up a little at a time." I thought about how gentle and loving our Heavenly Father is, allowing us to go through a process of refinement, instead of being exposed to more than we can take all at once. He leads us along the path of righteousness -- a journey. He never gives us more than we can take, balancing just the right amount of pain mixed with just the right amount of perfectly timed relief. It might take longer than we want, but we can find peace in knowing that the end-result will be worth waiting for.

Whitening isn't convenient. I couldn't find an ideal time to submit myself to this process. Finding three hours to wear a tray full of chemicals in my mouth just wasn't happening. The refiner's fire is like this. It is never convenient and it certainly won't fit into your neatly ordered life to develop the character of Christ. And if you wait until you are "ready" to submit to it with your whole heart, well, it likely will never get done. God wants us to come before Him and say, "I will make the time to undergo what You have for me, because I want to be all I can for You, Lord." When He hears this from us, He moves within our lives to bring about dazzling change.

God's whitening process--it might not be easy, or tidy, or even close to what we expected, but we can trust it will be for the best.

Dear Lord, the cry of David's heart is the cry of my heart: I want You to cleanse me, to make me whiter than snow. I understand that pain, discomfort and inconvenience will be part of that process. Help me to submit to that process every step of the way and to trust You at all times. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:

Do you know Him?

Pierced By the Word: 31 Meditations for Your Soul by John Piper

For the Write Reason General Editor Marybeth Whalen

Visit Marybeth's blog

Application Steps: 

Sit quietly with the Lord asking Him, "Lord, what areas in my life need to be cleaned?"

Enlist the encouragement of a good friend in Christ for accountability in making and keeping the choice to be refined.

Reflections: 

Have you gone through a painful time that you can now see was part of your "whitening process"?

Do you struggle with submitting yourself to the inconvenience of God's maturation process?

Power Verses:

I Peter 4:12-13, "Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed." (NIV) 

Psalm 23:3, "He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake." (NIV)

Zechariah 13:9, "This third I will bring into the fire; I will refine them like silver and test them like gold. They will call on my name and I will answer them; I will say, 'They are my people,' and they will say, 'The Lord is our God.'" (NIV)

© 2009 by Marybeth Whalen. All rights reserved.

Proverbs 31 Ministries

616-G, Matthews-Mint Hill Road

Matthews, NC 28105

February 19, 2009

Celebrate Winter

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READ: Psalm 42

Why are you cast down, O my soul? . . . Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance. —Psalm 42:5

I love living where there are four seasons. But even though I love settling down with a good book by a crackling fire when it’s snowing, I must admit that my love for the seasons grows a little dim when the long gray days of winter drone on into February.

Yet regardless of the weather, there is always something special about winter: Christmas! Thankfully, long after the decorations are down, the reality of Christmas still lifts my spirits no matter what’s happening.

If it weren’t for the reality of Christ’s birth, not only would winter be dark and dreary, but our hearts would be bleak and have nothing to hope for. No hope for the freedom from guilt and judgment. No hope of His reassuring and strengthening presence through dark and difficult times. No hope for a future secured in heaven.

In the winter of a troubled life, the psalmist asked, “Why are you cast down, O my soul?” The remedy was clear: “Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance” (Ps. 42:5).

In C. S. Lewis’ tales of Narnia, Mr. Tumnus complains that in Narnia it is “always winter and never Christmas.” But for those of us who know the God who made the seasons, it is always Christmas in our hearts! —Joe Stowell

When our lives are heavy laden,
Cold and bleak as winter long,
Stir the embers in our hearts, Lord;
Make Your flame burn bright and strong. —Kieda

Let the reality of Christmas chase away the blahs of winter.

Ultimate Security

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A local businessman was in to share with our Ministry Team a while back, and he made a fascinating observation about his family. He's got three children; two are all grown up and in their late 20s. His youngest is just a nine year old girl. He assured us that she wasn't a "mistake." In fact, she was their choice. And he pointed out something the authorities made very clear at the time the adoption went through. There could come a time when he had a major falling out with one of his natural-born children - a time when he could conceivably, as a father, disown that child; even put him out of the will. But not so with this girl he was adopting. He was legally committed to never disown her, to never put her out of his will, and to always take care of her. They said, in essence, "When you adopt a child, she is your child forever."

For my businessman friend, that experience with adoption opened up a whole new world in terms of his personal relationship with God. It could be the same for you. Because adoption plays a central part in whether or not you actually belong to God, whether or not you go to heaven when you die.

In our word for today from the Word of God, the Lord pulls back the curtain of eternity to let us see this panoramic view of how God has planned and provided for you joining His family. Ephesians 1:4 says this: "In love He predestined us to be adopted as His sons (or His children) through Jesus Christ...In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins." God has had His eye on you before there was a world! And He made a plan to adopt you into His family so you could be with Him forever.

There are few more comforting and more peace-giving words in the English language than this one - secure. But security may be something you've never had much of in your life. You've experienced a lot of conditional love, performance love, but not much love that would be there no matter how unlovable you are. Maybe there have been people or positions or things that were your security blanket but they're gone, and with them, that sense of being safe. If you've been disappointed in relationships, if you've been hurt a lot, or if you're tired of losing what you were hanging onto, then you're ready to be adopted by God.

Remember what the authorities told my friend, "When you adopt a child, she is yours forever." That's the kind of unshakable, unlosable security God is offering you. Adoptions can be expensive. For God to adopt you, the price was unthinkable - the sacrifice of His one and only Son on the cross. Because there's no way you could be a daughter or son in God's family with all the wrong things you've done. After all, God the Father is perfect. But, as the verse says, God offers forgiveness of sins through the blood Jesus shed on the cross. Your sin was paid for so your sin could be forgiven. And God stands ready to make you His child.

But only if you want Him to. Only if you'll pin all your hopes on Jesus and what He did on the cross for you. At the moment you give yourself to Jesus, you are adopted into God's family, and you finally belong. You're finally secure.

If you're ready to join God's family, would you tell Jesus that? And then, I hope you'll go to our website where you'll find a lot of valuable, practical information on how to be sure you belong to Jesus Christ. It's YoursForLife.net. I hope you'll go there at your first convenience today. Or you can call and get for no charge my booklet Yours For Life just by calling 877-741-1200.

Your lifelong search for a love you could never lose can end this very day. God has paid the price to adopt you. His arms are open wide. It's time for you to run into your Father's waiting arms. Once you do, He'll never let you go.

Learn how to begin a personal, love-relationship with the God who made you.

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